A Dog Named Sex

This is an old story that I wrote when I was young.
Maybe I got an idea from another funny story with the same title, but this is my writing.
I think this can be a perfect story for officiant in wedding…

A Dog Named Sex

Today I would like to talk about my embracing experiences with my dog. At my hometown we have raised dog since I was in an elementary school. Once, only once, we had a chance to have a foreign dog. We got the dog from one of our relatives living in Maryland, USA. It was male and his name was Mary. Our relative said there were so many dogs in Maryland and Mary was very common as a dog’s name. He said the state name, Maryland, came from dogs.

I also heard that my dog was born and raised near a FBI training farm. So he was trained very well. When we got a phone call, he caught the wireless phone and listened for a while and decided to whom he should carry it. In most cases he got a right choice, over 90 percent. Can you guess how did he get it?

I didn’t like his name, Mary, and I looked for a new name. He had one specialty. His barking sound seemed like this… “Sex, Sex, Sex!”. Oh, do you wanna have sex? That’s nice. I’ll call you Sex. Come on Sex!

He was very sensitive to my pronunciation. When I call, “sex, come on!”, there was no response. “SSEEXX, Come on!”, then he came to me.

He was the number one security guard of the world. During his work, we didn’t have any intruder or rubber, because we were very poor.

Sex got his fame with his brilliance, sincerity, royalty and sexy looking. At last we got an invitation on TV show from KBS. But we couldn’t realize our show business. When we entered the KBS building, he ran away all at once. Sex must have been embraced a little. I followed Sex but I lost his trail turning the corner.

I asked the doorman of KBS building.
“Did you see my Sex? I’m looking for Sex. I should have Sex on TV. It’s urgent”.
“Oh, no. We don’t have any channel for sex. You have the wrong number”.
“You don’t understand. I can’t appear on TV without Sex. Sex is my point on tonight’s TV show”.

I walked along the street and I asked one of passers-by.
“Did you see my Sex? Yesterday I have had Sex, but today it ran away from me”.
“That’s too bad. But it’s not unusual. It happens to a lot of people. You can find another”.
“No, Sex was so unique to me that I can’t find another”.

It’s already dark. I happened to pass by a shop with red light. There was a beautiful girl singing a song, “Come on baby!!…” I asked her,
“Did you see my Sex?”
“Oh, are you looking for sex? You got it! You are on the right place, here”.
She was a hooker.
“You don’t understand. I should find my Sex and go to TV show. I’m scheduled to have Sex on TV tonight”.
“No problem, we can also serve on TV”.
She was a professional hooker.

I found out that Sex was with a stranger.
“This is my dog”.
“No, it’s my dog”.
“How much do you know about Sex?”
“I have always been with sex. I enjoy my life as much as I can”.
We have to go to police to solve our argument. I said to a cap,
“Sex had been with me since I was 10 years old”.
“Oh, you must have been quite a kid…”
“You don’t understand. I can’t live without Sex. Sex was a very important part of my life”.

I managed to win the case. On the way home, I thought I should resister my dog to the government. The next day I went to city hall and asked the officer,
“I want to have a license for Sex”.
“I also would like to have one”.

Ladies and gentlemen! Is there any law that I can’t call my dog Sex?

He ran away again and I’m still looking for my Sex.
“Simon! Chris! Did you see my Sex?”
I think I should give up now. So I have an announcement.
“If you find my Sex, I’ll let you have Sex. You can have Sex.”